I was out at in dead of night hunting some ‘coons and skunks when this guy shows up on a horse, panting and saying that his wife just got kidnapped by a posse of bandits. So being a nice guy (well, maybe on the inside, and not on the outlook) and at the same time having an honourable reputation as well, I took off on my own horse only to find that the bandits were already hanging the wife (why is it death by hanging so popular in these parts?).

My addiction to chewing tobacco has let me to develop a tendency for accurate shooting. Folks down here call it having a dead-eye, but I’m sure glad to have whatever it is, without which I couldn’t have shot the rope and kill all ’em bandits as well. I’ve gotten several dollars from the happy couple for my trouble but I made up for it by looting those dead bandits. No point leaving them just lying around without checking for dollar bills and change in their pockets.

Oh, and what wild life did I killed o the same night? A couple of ‘coons and a skunk…it didn’t know what hit it when I fired my brand new shotgun….